Email, Water and Other Random Thoughts for the Day
I love Email, I really do. However...we have three email addresses and I have one more for work. Thank goodness for them too as without them I wouldn't know that I could be 'friends' with Freida in the Czech Republic. I wouldn't know that I have won the Swiss Lottery or that the Bank of Britain has an inheritance from some long, long, long lost relative is just sitting waiting for me. I wouldn't know that Rolex watches are on sale, that I am trusted friend in G_d of someone in Africa who would like me to enter into business with them. I wouldn't know you could order Viagra online or that there are pretty girls out there who want me to see their pictures.
Thank heaven for Email newsletters as without them I wouldn't know that the herb farm in Kentucky is selling purslane (my favorite weed) for several dollars a pound, that the folk school is building a new star bale building or that the latest BEST recipe will require me to buy spices never heard of by man nor beast in North Dakota. I also wouldn't have gotten the Real Simple Email newsletter that claimed "How To Get Rid Of Virtually Everything".
I have to admit that this particular subject line caught my attention. I mean, ANYTHING??? Really, ANYTHING? Several things came to mind before I even opened the message - like water, as in Devils Lake, the flooding in Minot, Bismarck, Mandan and all across ND. I also thought of other things like weeds, creepy people, mosquito's, and interest on loans. As I dreamed on it, my list of things that I would get rid of, if I could, got longer and longer...wood ticks, most video games, most reality TV, winds over 50 mph and lastly, junk Email.
How disappointing when I actually read the newsletter to find their answer to ridding yourself of Virtually Everything was rubbing alcohol, baby power, vinegar and Vodka. Maybe if I were to try just the last one none of the things I want gone would bother me.
Next thought for today - our house is all about water now. It's quite a quandary when you have too much water on the edge of town so that causes friends and neighbors to move away and leave their homes and farms they have occupied for generations and yet at the same time you are in your home trying save water and use as much. You see, our city sewer was shut off yesterday. That means we're living off our holding tank. What that means if navy showers and tree hugger flushes, washing clothes somewhere else and washing dishes in shallow cold water. Too much water outside, trying not to have water inside. And for those of you who don't know, a navy shower means turning the water on, jumping in before it gets warm, getting wet, shutting the water off, lathering up head to toe, turning the water off and rinsing quickly then jumping out. This method was first developed by the Navy for soldiers on submarines with limited supplies of fresh water. It is said that a normal shower can use up to 60 gallons of water where a Navy shower can use as little as 11. Tree hugger flushes, well, let's just say "If its yellow let it mellow, if its brown, flush it down". Think about it - the typical toilet uses 1.6 gallons of water for each flush. If you're like me (because I work from home) I use the porcelain throne at least 6 to 8 times per day - that's almost 12 gallons just for me. Using the tree hugger method can mean half that use each day. And with the costs for fuel and labor - the less often I need to have the holding tank pumped, the better.
And lastly - random things like why is it the 22nd of June and yet those fuzzy bastard Mayflies are thicker than ever, don't they know May is long gone? Why is it Canada doesn't want any of North Dakota's water via Devils Lake and the Red River but they haven't hesitated to send Minot a crap load of water from Canada! Why did some people not learn about fairness and equality in kindergarten and bible school? Why do the deer have to eat my most prized plants instead of the weeds? And lastly, why do I crave carbs like pasta and bread on cool days like today?
Hope your Email is full of good news, your water stays where it needs to stay and your 'Virtually Anythings" turn into virtually nothings.